Utter Gratitude

I wrote this on the plane in my journal since I felt the urge to write so I thought I would share my thoughts with you all(:

{It’s really interesting to sit back and contemplate my life thus far. A lot has happened and a lot has changed. It’s like I’ve already lived two completely different lives. Two uniquely different perspectives, personalities and agendas. But I’ve found that one thing had remained consistent that will always connect me to my past; and that is my parents. They are the only two people who have stuck beside me through this transformation process. There are so many people in my life now that have no idea what I was like two years ago. Only stories and partial accounts of events and bad memories are what few people have to understand my past. However, my parents have lived both lives with me.

At times I try to ignore the past when it tries to resurface. I sometimes like to think none of that nonsense in Ohio happened. But without it, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the emotional intelligence of a 24 year old if I hadn’t survived 69 days without a shower. I’m proud of where I’ve been, not who I was, but the strength I’ve gained through the process.

I put a lot of thought into the note I write for my dad this Father’s Day… Utter gratitude is something I will always feel deep in my heart. My parents saved my life, as they changed the path of a distressed soul. A rebellious teen was straightened out due to the selflessness of her parents. My dad has now had to work longer since treatment was so expensive. He was forced to sell his Porsche to pay for the $10,000 check he had to write each month. The sacrifices my parents have made are tremendous and I really wanted my dad to know my unending gratitude for all he has given me.

I can’t wait until the summer of 2014 when I can give back to the outback wilderness program. I’m looking forward to being in such a serene environment and helping share my story to other young girls struggling. I hope to show them that their fight is over. I want to guide them to a rode of never ending peace and happiness.



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